Too Much Stuff.

December 30th. Yes, I'm one of those people who make yearly resolutions. And yes, mine typically involve eating healthier and starting an exercise program. Not this year. This year, I'm focusing on my home. My tiny, cozy home that I adore. My tiny, cozy home that is now stressing me out because it is overtaken by TOO MUCH STUFF.

Perhaps coming home after five days on the road for Christmas made me realize I no longer have room to put stuff. The kids' room (they share a room) is now filled to the brim with toys. They love them all. And they really do play with nearly everything in there. But it is just too much. I'm sick of stepping on princesses, tractors, and robot parts. I'm tired of not being able to buy that wonderful, dreamy KitchenAid Stand Mixer that my husband told me to finally get for myself this year because I have zero - zippo - nada place to store it. I'm tired of Tupperware falling out of my cupboard every time I open it because it's so jam packed. I'm tired of wondering what exactly IS in those dusty old boxes behind the furnace in our storage/laundry room that haven't been opened in four years?!

So this year, I will hopefully accomplish the great SAHM "de-clutter and simplify my home" event for 2011. I hope to get this all done by the end of February. Yeah, that's not a lot of time, but it needs to be done. Quickly. Now.

But where to start? If I don't make a starting point, I'll never start. And I'm hoping by sharing my "get organized" hopes for 2011 with you all that it will make me more accountable and actually get it done. Here is my list so far:

1. The kids' room. Organize toys. Sort through toys no longer played with and books no longer read for Goodwill donation. Clean under the beds and changing table/dresser. Clean the baseboards and ceiling fan (we don't need to discuss how long it has been since I've done that last part. Yikes.)

2. The kitchen. Clean out bottom cupboards storing Tupperware and pots and pans. Clean out top cupboards storing glassware and plates. Donate unused items. Wipe down the inside of cupboards.

3. The basement. No, wait...I'm not ready for this one yet. Let's procrastinate a bit, shall we?

3. The guest room closet. The "shove it in there where no one will see it" hell-hole. Unfortunately, this is also where my husband keeps all of his suits, shirts and ties. I'd love for him to open that closet in the morning and see a nice, organized space. A lot can be taken to consignment. We also have a metal filing cabinet in there that holds old tax returns, household documents, etc. I'm dreading organizing that thing because nothing is "filed," just shoved in there. Clean out clothes/bedding/purses, wrapping paper - organize and donate. Clean out filing cabinet - organize in folders and shred the rest.

4. The living room closet. What to do with a closet that stores old coats and sweaters, kids' toys and maxi pads? Really?! Time to clean out the old clothes and toys for donation, move the "personal items" to a different space (under the bathroom cabinet, perhaps?) and define this space a bit more.

5. My pantry. This really isn't in too bad of shape on the shelves. Everything is rotated and organized fairly nicely. But it's what is on the floor that scares me. We keep our recycling, brooms/mops, heavier items, and kids' colors/playdough/craft items all o the floor of the pantry. It's a mess and needs to be cleaned out and organized.

6. And finally....I'm ready for it now. The basement. We have a small unfinished part of our basement that holds our furnace, hot water heater and softener, washer/dryer, freezer, cat food and litter box, and some storage shelves. There is TOO MUCH UNUSED STUFF stored down there. It will take a lot of dirty work (the spider webs alone are enough to make we want to move right now) but I would really like to make this a nicer space. Step 1: get rid of aforementioned spider webs. Shudder. Step 2: clean out the "newer" boxes of stuff and donate. Create more shelving space. Step 3: The icky part....delve into the boxes on the shelves behind the furnace that are dusty, gross and haven't been touched in 4+ years. Donate....throw out...and more donation.

Boy, do I feel naked now. Yes, I have some icky parts of my home. But hopefully, in two months, the ickiness will be replaced with organization and serenity.

And maybe even some "before and after" photos if I'm feeling REALLY brave.

Today is one of those great mornings...

where I'm happy and really, really enjoy my job as a stay-at-home mom to my two kiddos and wife to a very busy husband.

But then again, I'm the only one up and the house is blissfully quiet.

I woke up early (5:20 a.m. - thanks to not having adjusted to Daylight Savings Time yet) and turned on the coffee pot. I showered, did the whole makeup/hair/get dressed routine, and then wandered into the kitchen to make this yummy Applesauce Bread as a morning breakfast treat for my hubby and lil' ones. It is 7:05 a.m. I'm dressed and ready for the day. The bread is done and waiting for my family to tear into it. The house smells fantastic. The coffee is awesome. And the house is still blissfully quiet. Which is good because we have a busy day ahead of us, filled with preschool for the 3-year-old and an early childhood class for me and the 2-year-old.

I thank God often for this opportunity He has given my family. He has blessed us with the ability to have me stay home full-time with my kiddos. I know there are plenty of moms who love their careers and having that career outside of the home is a great thing for them and their families. But I also know there are moms who long to stay home with their kiddos but are financially unable to do so. And because of that, I can never forget give thanks for the blessing of being a SAHM.

SAHM, I am.

Now, I need to make sure I bookmark this post. I need to read...and re-read...and re-read again - when I have that inevitable day (likely this evening) when I'm exhausted, the kids are fighting and yelling "Mama!" every 6 seconds, supper is burning, and the cat puked on the rug. Remember, it's all a blessing....

Join us for Gratituesday at Heavenly Homemakers!

Today is the day...

that I will enjoy my last...yes, last...Diet Coke this afternoon.

I'm giving it up cold turkey tomorrow. So when I say I'm going to enjoy it today, I mean really enjoy.

I do only drink one (usually one...okay, sometimes two) each afternoon. I really look forward to it. It is my afternoon pick-me-up during naptime (okay, usually a little before naptime). But seriously, look at the ingredients on the side of the can. Is this what I'm putting into my body each and every day? I stress over feeding my kids the occasional non-organic grape or apple, yet apparently see nothing wrong with putting aspartame and phosporic acid into my body each day?

The start of my downfall was that darn lure of the siren song of McDonald's. "$1 soft drinks, any size." And any soda-loving, caffeine-addicted mama knows just how goooood McDonald's fountain soda is. Seriously, do they put crack in that stuff? Why is it so good? I often found myself pulling in to the drive-thru this summer to get my cheap-o (just $1.08 with tax...) super-duper extra-large Diet Coke as my afternoon, 0-calorie "treat." Nothing wrong with this, right?

Well, two things happened:
The first instance: While running errands one day, my daughter sweetly asked her obviously-cranky mama from the backseat, "Mama, do you need a Diet Coke?"
The second instance: My 3-year-old and 1-year-old were playing in the living room. My daughter grabbed their sippy water cups, handed one to her little brother, and said, "Here, let's drink our Diet Cokes."

That about broke my heart. I'm trying to set a good, healthy example for my kids, and here they are thinking that it would be neat to drink Diet Coke out of their sippy cups. Yikes. Yes, I know it could be worse. As I told this story to a fellow SAHM yesterday, she laughed and said, "It could be a lot worse. They could've said 'Budweiser' instead of Diet Coke."

Everything in perspective, right?

Anyway, today is my last day of cold, refreshing, aspartame-filled, caffeinated yumminess. May God help me and family in the days to come.

Craziness

What's been going on in this mom's life lately:

1. Two kids sick with bad colds.
2. A major lack of sleep due to said sick kids.
3. A husband that is super-busy at work and is essentially home only 4-5 hours in the middle of the night to catch a few winks of sleep.
4. Super hot and humid weather upwards of 100 degrees.
5. Numbers 1 through 4 above lead to number 5...no time to blog or be creative at all. Hope to return to normalcy soon...

Friday Fail - My kids' diet this week

Anyone who glanced at my menu plan for this week read that my wonderful husband was going to be traveling out of town for work Monday through Thursday (yeah!! he finally arrived home last night!). So my plans for supper this past week were pretty fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants. I have found that my key to losing baby weight was to not eat much during the evening meal, so I decided I was just going to have a little of what the kids were having this week and not cook anything too "special" for me. Well, my definition of "nothing too special" really took a turn. Normally, my goal for this family is to try to eat as little processed foods as possible. We aren't completely processed-food-free (my kids adore Goldfish crackers, Dum Dum lollipops and the like) but I'd say, as a whole, we are eating healthy and unprocessed foods about 80% of the time. I consider that a victory.

Except for this week.

On Monday evening, I made grilled ham and cheese sandwiches with canned tomato soup for supper. Tomato soup (a.k.a. "red soup", as my daughter calls it) is a favorite of my children's, so they were thrilled. Hey, doesn't tomato soup (even out of a can) count as a vegetable? Or is it a fruit? Either way, this didn't seem to be too bad of a start.

While grocery shopping on Tuesday, my daughter spotted a can of Dora Spaghettios (without meatballs, so no recall concerns there!) and begged to try them. Why not? At only 79 cents a can, Daddy being out of town, and Mommy too tired to cook... let's go for it. So on Tuesday evening my kids dined on Dora Spaghettios, crackers and fruit. (Yes, I snuck some fruit in there).

And Wednesday? Why, it was time to break out the box of Kraft Mac'n'Cheese I had in the pantry along with a can of green beans.

My poor children are probably suffering from sodium overload, but...they were THRILLED. My daughter has proclaimed this to be the best week ever of mom's cooking. It was a nutritional fail on my part, but it led to very happy kiddos.

For more "Friday Fails", please visit Myra at My Blessed Life.

You know you're a mom cooped up at home with two sick kids when...

(1) You gave your kids chocolate chip cookies for breakfast in an attempt to get them to eat something (granted, they are homemade "breakfast cookies," but still chocolate chip cookies, nonetheless);

(2) You've drank 3/4 of a pot of coffee and one Diet Coke by 11 am;

(3) You've changed your shirt three times because you are covered in snot, vomit, and/or poo; and

(4) Your basement looks like this:




Calgon, take me away!

What I am NOT feeling guilty about today...

television.

My kids probably watched close to four hours of TV today. For this, I am neither apologizing nor feeling any guilt. They are both sick as dogs. The preschooler has a horrific cold and the toddler has both a cold and also a stomach bug. I am stuck at home with two sick, miserable kids. Snot, vomit and verrrry messy diapers have filled my days.

My relief? Good ol' TV.
Thank you, Nick Jr.
Thank you, PBS Sprout.
Thank you, Princess and the Frog via Netflix.

Because of you, my children were able to forget about their illnesses, cozy up on the couch with a sippy cup and blanket, and veg out with some television. Was it enriching? No. Did they expand their brain function or fine motor skills? Nope. Did they get fresh air and exercise? Definitely not.

But what they DID get was some down time that kept them occupied. They weren't crying. They weren't complaining. They were entertained. And mommy had some quiet time, too. If it weren't for this, I would likely have lost it today. It was survival wrapped up in a neat little gray package called a remote. My kids do not normally watch this much TV on a daily basis, but today it was necessary for one crazy mama and two sick kiddos.

I'm sure plenty of readers out there may think I'm the worst parent for allowing two young kids to watch so much TV in one day. Well, to each their own. Do I think I'm in the running for the Super Mother of the Year Award? No way. But my purpose of this blog is to keep it real. Yes, I like to menu plan. Yes, I like to bake and cook from scratch for my family. Yes, I enjoy organizing and keeping a (fairly) tidy home. But I am, under no circumstances, trying to operate under the disguise that I'm a SuperMom.

But what I am is a Super-Survivor. And my survival tool for the day: television.

I'm tired!

I'm nearing the end of the kids' naptime so I finally have a moment to sit down and blog a bit. I'm tired. Whoever thinks that stay-at-home moms sit on the couch and eat bonbons all day...well, they are dead wrong. I've been up since 5:15 this morning. In addition to the usual tasks of making hubby's lunch, feeding the kids lunch and breakfast, getting the kids dressed, playtime with the kids...this is so far the "extras" that I've done today:

- Took a toddler and preschooler grocery shopping (That, by itself, is enough to exhaust anyone.)

- For the freezer: baked a dozen Banana Flax Muffins, a dozen Corn Dog Muffins, and made a batch of slow cooker Chicken Taco filling

- Prepared a marinated pork tenderloin (currently in the fridge) for supper tonight

- Vacuumed the basement, guest room and steps
- Cleaned two bathrooms
- Washed, dryed and folded 5 loads of laundry (including guest room bedding and hubby's work shirts)
- Swept and mopped the kitchen and living room

A lot of this is in anticipation of a visit from my mother-in-law tonight (which I only found out about LAST NIGHT after supper!) I bit off more than I could chew with the freezer cooking, but I already had planned on doing that today before I found out about the MIL's visit and I had the ingredients all ready to go.

While I think we all strive to be "super mommies", it really is exhausting. There are still items on my "to do" list that just won't get done today. No matter what, I will never get all of the cooking done or the house in perfect order. But hopefully my family will be happy and comfortable in our home - and that is all I can ask for.

Friday Fail - Netflix Addiction

Oh, dear Netflix - how you lured me in with your constant online pop-up ads and siren song of "2 week free trial."

I caved. I decided I needed some "me time"..."mommy time"..."down time"...call it what you will, but my goal was to take a little snippet (notice I said "little") out of each naptime and watch a few minutes of a movie or TV series I've been wanting to see. Because by the time 8:30 rolls around each night and the kids are finally in bed, I am way too exhausted to even think about watching a movie and I just know that I would fall asleep. (Think that getting up at 5 am every day to help dear hubby get out the door in the morning has anything to do with that? But I do it with joy and love. And I digress...)

So I joined Netflix. And let me say that for the past week, I have gotten ABSOLUTELY NOTHING done around the house. Naptimes whiz by with my backside firmly planted on the couch, staring at the TV as if we've been long-lost friends separated for 20 years. I've become addicted to Big Love, an HBO series I've been dying to watch for the past couple of years. And here it comes, all neatly packaged in its friendly little red envelope, delivered right to my door. (I also got Cinderella III for my dear daughter, and I have a feeling that this DVD won't be returned for a while).

Due to my FAILURE of not getting anything done around the house, I know I have to ease back a bit on the ol' Netflix habit. Maybe just one per week. Or two? Okay, three wouldn't really hurt anybody, would it?

For more fun with Friday Fails, please visit Myra's awesome blog at My Blessed Life.

Friday Fails - lots of little things

Where is my energy? I think my lack of energy these days counts for most of my "fails" this past week. I can't blame it on being too busy or distracted. Just plain ol' tired, which is odd because we've had such gorgeous spring-like weather here in Minnesota the past few days and I'm only one week off of a recharging 2-day getaway with my husband.

Here are a few of my "fails" from this past week:

1. I let my daughter watch 2.5 straight hours of TV yesterday morning without even worrying about it. Granted, we followed it up with 1.5 hours of play at the park, but still...that's a lot of TV in one morning.

2. I haven't mopped my kitchen/dining/entryway floor in over two weeks. This may not seem too bad to some, but given the current state of MN weather that guarantees muddy and dirty shoes, my floor is hideous. The bottoms of my kids' socks are turning brown. I sweep every day, telling myself that's getting it "clean enough."

3. I started out the month of March with the goal of following the $200 Challenge spearheaded by Sarah last month at Clay In His Hands. I had the awesome goal of spending only $200 this month on groceries for our family of four. I started out great, only spending $67 through March 10th. And then my mini "vacation" hit, stocked up on unexpected items for babysitters Nana and Papa and treats for the kids, and completely blew my budget and completely lost track of how much I spent. Okay, it was my failure to start this in March knowing I had all of this going on, but here it is - only March 19th - and I'm pretty sure I've already blown way past $200 for groceries. Maybe next month...

4. Speaking of money, I have totally failed my frugal ways and shopped way too much this past week. I have spent more on clothes this past week for myself and the kiddos then I have spent in the last eight months. And these are new, retail clothes - no consignment or thrift store shopping for this lady lately. What's going on??

To bond with more bloggers over their failures, please visit My Blessed Life.

Mommy Guilt - Playtime

All moms have guilt, I guess. If you work outside of the home, you probably feel guilty about juggling time between work and family. If you stay at home full time, you may feel guilty about not contributing to the family's finances and putting the sole-breadwinner-burden all on your spouse's shoulders (this is my particular scenario). However, lately, I've encountered a new kind of mommy guilt.

I don't play with my kids as much as I probably should. And I feel guilty about it. When my daughter was a baby/young toddler, I remember being on the floor with her and playing all day and all night. Now, she's an almost-preschooler and I have another young toddler. And I'm tired. Busy. Exhausted. Spent.

Yesterday my daughter wanted to play hide-and-seek after lunch. And my response: "Not right now, honey, mommy is too tired." Yikes, did that really come out of my mouth? I've been feeling guilty about this for a while, but I've always attributed it to being too busy - juggling laundry, dishes, cleaning, organizing, cooking, the list goes on and on. But yesterday, I didn't really have that much going on - I was just TIRED.

And I feel really bad about not being on the floor all day and all night with my kids like I used to be. But then I remember when I was little playing by myself a lot. And I (arguably) turned out OK. Playing by yourself fosters imagination and creativity, right? At least that's what I tell myself.

Don't get me wrong - I do play with my kids. Yesterday we were at the park for an hour and a half in the morning and played outside in the backyard for an hour in the afternoon (have to take advantage of those gorgeous MN days...). But when we came inside - I just didn't have the energy or desire to stack blocks or play hide and seek. And then I think of the kids who spend time at daycare during the week. I bet they have an adult playing with them all day, right? Are my kids being deprived of adult-interaction-playtime because they stay at home with a currently very lazy mommy?

I keep telling myself that kids need alone time, too. Kids need to learn how to play independently.

At least that's what I'm telling myself these days in hopes that this recent bout of "mommy guilt" will subside a bit. And maybe by then I'll have more energy for playing pretend Easter Bunny and hide-and-seek.

Feeling guilty about a "SAHM Day Off"

My dear hubby has been very busy at work lately, working long hours and also traveling out of town. Although I know how blessed I am to be able to stay home full time with my two kids, it has been a rough couple of weeks being the sole caregiver to two toddlers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, with little to no assistance on most days. I love my job as my mommy and wife but I am just plain tired. A little bit of "me time" is needed - and my hubby said that tomorrow (Saturday) is "my day"!! He said I could take the whole day and do whatever I wanted and he would take care of the kids all day.

This happens every so often but I always feel like I have to rush home to help with the kids. I usually run some errands by myself (consignment, Target, etc.) and then hurry home. But I'm willing myself to STAY AWAY tomorrow! Maybe even till suppertime! I know I have to go get my car's oil changed in the morning...but what to do after that? I do have the typical errands to run (drop off at consignment, grocery shopping at Target). But after that, the day is mine! I really should get my hair cut and colored, but I'm not in the mood and feel like that will be a huge waste of two hours! Instead, I think I may find a cozy coffee shop somewhere and snuggle up with a Mocha, a really fattening muffin, and finish the book I'm reading (Love Revolution by Joyce Meyer). Or maybe I'll be super crazy and go see a movie all by myself! No kids needing to rush to the potty, no sippy cups to fill, no princess DVDs to change, etc. etc. Just me for a few hours...sigh.

We'll see. I'll probably get the car serviced, get groceries, and head home by lunch because I feel guilty being away from my kids and hubby for more than two hours. Why do I do this? Why the feelings of guilt? I know that no one can stay at their job 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and be healthy. I know that although I no longer wear high heels and a suit to work every day that I still work extremely hard. I know that in addition to me needing to be away from my kids every now and then, my kids also need some time away from me.

I know all of this. Yet every time I go out by myself, I feel guilty. I check my watch constantly and feel like a timer has been set and I need to rush home. And then once I get home and get the inevitable backseat of groceries unloaded and put away, I'm back on the "mommy clock" taking care of the kids and feeling resentful that I didn't get any good, quality "me time" away.

Is this my own doing? Mostly, yes. Why do SAHMs do this? When I worked outside of the home I never felt guilty for staying home on a Saturday. Why are things so different when we work at home? I have yet to figure this out. Although I think it mostly has to do with the fact that I know how lucky I am to be able to stay home with my two adorable kids and take care of my kids, husband and home. But the guilt sets in when I start to feel bad for wanting (okay, needing) to be away from my kids for a little while. God blessed me with two happy, healthy children...how dare I ever want to be away from them? But I know that I will not be the mom and wife I need to be - should be - unless I regroup every now and then by myself. This is for my family's sake and my own well being. A happy mama makes a happy household. And I want us to be HAPPY!